Posts Tagged ‘Family’

It is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
1 Peter 3:17 NASB

Girl sitting reading book looking surprised. Barbara was working on her needlepoint, and I was reading the newspaper. It was any weeknight in America –just the way Norman Rockwell pictured it.

At least it was until our eighth grader, Benjamin, popped his head up from behind his school-assigned book and said, “Dad, I don’t think I should be reading this.”

“What do you mean, buddy?” I asked.

“This story–it’s got some pretty graphic details about a man and a woman in it. You know, sex!” He blushed a bit and shot a nervous glance at his mom, who nearly jabbed her finger with that sewing needle.

“Let me see that book,” I said. Quickly flipping through a few pages, I could see right away why he was concerned. He was dead on. This book was explicit and graphic as it spun a romantic tale.

As it turned out, we were able to help him get an alternate assignment. After his teacher originally threatened him with a zero for not reading this particular book, we came to a meeting of the minds and were happy with the result. But nothing made us happier than seeing our son’s conscience in action, knowing that at 14 he already had an acute sense of right and wrong–and the courage to choose what he knew was best.

I can promise you that living-room stories like these don’t happen without lots of work on the part of parents. Lots of Scripture. Lots of prayer together. Lots of offhand conversations, teachable moments and direct disciplinary actions.

If you’re doing it right, parenthood often means being a pain to your children, interfering with what they want. But those early years of character development are so important. That’s when you play the role of your children’s consciences–calling them, training them, prodding them on to a higher good, helping them learn the value of refusing evil.

How have you seen your children’s consciences fire into action?

Pray that the Lord will always keep your kids’ consciences tender to His touch.


Taken from Moments Like This. Dennis Rainey.

image: sxc


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How you view your children and what you think about discipline can help you stay calm and use healthy routines when things get tough. Imagine a car dealership where a man named Martin works in the showroom. Martin sells cars to prospective customers. If he sees a car without a door, he’s surprised and upset. He doesn’t expect to see defects. Cars in the showroom are supposed to be finished.

cars assembly Bill, on the other hand, works in the factory and inspects cars for flaws and missing parts. It’s his job to find problems and fix them. In fact, Bill is prepared with a number of routines depending on the nature of the problem. If a door is missing, Bill doesn’t get upset; he just goes through his routine of obtaining a door and putting it on.

Bill knows that when a car is on the production line it requires continual work. Doors are added, pieces are put together, and workers are continually looking for ways to improve the product.

cars-assembly-02 Viewing your children as works in progress instead of as finished products can help you respond to them without harshness or frustration. Like Bill, you can view problems as opportunities. Misbehavior and relational struggles are indicators of where your child needs help to grow and mature.

Parents are often frustrated by the continual need for correction and the endless number of mistakes that children make. If you can remember that your children are on the production line instead of in the showroom, your expectations will lead you to solutions instead of to anger.

vintage-cars Paul knew that his readers were a work in progress when he said in Philippians 1:6 “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” God is also at work in your children and sometimes it takes time to see progress.





This tip comes from the book, “Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids,” by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.  

images: flickr-assembly;flickr-car

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This is an interview that Dennis Rainey of Family Life conducted with each of the young men who wanted to date his 4 daughters. He wrote a book about this, challenging parents to get to know their daughter’s dates and have this conversation with the boys. It’s kind of hard to do in our culture, but as you will read below, this is a dad’s role in protecting his daughter’s innocence, not just her virginity.

Quite a challenge, huh? But i know as redeemed Filipino parents, by the grace of God, this is something we can emulate.

The Interview

Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.
Job 38:3 NIV

I wrote yesterday about an interview I’ve conducted numerous times with young men who have wanted to date our daughters. Lots of parents have asked me to share some of the things I cover when I meet with these young men. Here’s a “high fly by” list:

  1. A woman is God’s creation, a beautiful creation, a fine creation. You’ve certainly noticed that my daughter is pretty, is attractive and has a cute figure, haven’t you?
  2. The attraction of a young man to a young lady is both normal and good. I’m glad you like her and want to be with her.
  3. I understand and remember what the sex drive of a young man is like. Believe me, I’ve been there, I know what you’re dealing with.
  4. I’m going to hold you accountable for your relationship with my daughter. Expect me to be asking to see if you’re dealing uprightly with her.
  5. I’m challenging you to purity. I want you to guard her innocence, not just her virginity.
  6. I want you to respect and uphold the dignity of my daughter by keeping your hands off of her. Keeping this one precaution in mind will help keep you from getting into further trouble.
  7. Do you understand all of what I’ve just said to you? Are we clear on what I’m expecting and what you can expect from me?
  8. When you’re a dad someday, I hope you will challenge your own children to abide by these standards and will interview your daughter’s dates. My prayer is that you will never forget this conversation.

One of the greatest privileges God has given me is to stand alongside our four daughters and honorably and gently attempt to protect their innocence. Meeting with these young men has been one of the highlights of being a dad.

Dads, discuss with your wife why this can be a little awkward to do. Moms, share with your husband how it makes you feel when you see him protecting your daughter.

Pray for courage to follow through with what you know to be right.


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                            Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
                               that we are working for could easily replace us in
                                                        a matter of days.

                               But the family we left behind will feel the loss
                                               for the rest of their lives.
                            And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
                                        into work than into our own family,
                                           an unwise investment indeed,
                                                    don’t you think?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

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I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
Oh excuse me please” was my reply.
He said, “Please excuse me too;
I wasn’t watching for you

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.


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